you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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