There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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