That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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