So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
