so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
