Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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