So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
