I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
