I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
