I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
