So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
