i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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