so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
