Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize