I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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