So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
