You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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