So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize