They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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