I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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