Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
