New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
