She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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