I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
