Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
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I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
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Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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