His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
