Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
