i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
