you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize