That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
