I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize