his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He passed out mid-signature
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
