So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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