what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
