evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He did a backflip because drugs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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