I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
