I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
