RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
