hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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