All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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