She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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