I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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