It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
