I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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