Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
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In other news, I just burned my penis
third nipple confirmed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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