Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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