i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
