You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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