the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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