hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
