God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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