"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
