I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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