I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
