some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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