He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
