At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
