worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
