I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
