Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
